You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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