im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
