We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
