You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
