and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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