he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
