Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
