DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
