Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize