I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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