We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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