Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
