I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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