Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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