Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
