I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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