Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
