it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
