I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize