I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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