Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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