There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
