I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
