You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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