I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
