Just cropdusted the office
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
