Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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