At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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