Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
