haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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