I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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