The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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