Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
