Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
