just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
