well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
