So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
