No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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