for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
