The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
