You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
