do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
