Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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