I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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