i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
