i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
