I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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