Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
