i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
