I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
