there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
