So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
