But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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