Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Randomize
