im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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