It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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