Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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