My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
