he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
