why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
