There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
