Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
